My full name was Robert Gary Fenske, but everyone knew me as "Gary" (confused the heck out of teachers and employers/businesses for years!). Please make sure you have a little extra time for this review… you might even want to get a snack or your favorite beverage. The stronger the better, I assure you.
So, many of you may remember, I was the one that was not so much a jock, but more of an "athletic supporter"… and by that I mean (besides the pun), I was the manager of the Football team, track team, and wrestling team… but I was also on the swimming team. They must have liked me, as I got a "B" Letter Sweater for all of it. (You do know that the "manager" of the teams is really just the "gofer", and does all the work so the others can shine)!!
After high school, my parents sent me to Europe for 4 weeks, with my best friend Chuck Howard and his parents. We saw 7 countries in 4 weeks. That was amazing, but a lot to take in in such a short time.
I then went to Diablo Valley College for 1 1/2 years, and finally decided at the very young age of 19 to get married to one of our classmates from the Class of 67, Debbie Ruth Pink.
From this marriage, we produced 3 sons, and from that have come 9 Grandchildren (2 adopted). The marriage ended in 1978-79, and I moved to San Francisco, where I came out as a Gay man, and it was a whirlwind string of events from there on.
Debbie remarried in 1980, to a friend from our church at the time, Jim Zirkelbach, and they did a fabulous job of raising the boys, and being supportive of me and many of my choices (as have the boys), along the way.
No, it was not easy at first, but I have always believed that when you honest about who you are, and what you feel, and care about someone and hopefully become their friend, first and foremost, that after the hurt and anger of the "event" of the moment, hopefully you can go back to that friendship, which we have.
In fact, she has accepted my invitation to come to this reunion. I am hoping that she can make it! I went to one of her's, a couple of years ago, and that was a lot of fun, as I have never attended any class reunions of my Las Lomas years. (Although Debbie and I did attend the Las Lomas 50th Birthday celebration in town).
Yes, my life has been, well let's say, "vast and varied", to say the least, and my middle name has become "been there, done that". Since birth, I have lived in 50 places (from 3 days to 9 years), owned 53 cars since I was 16, and have had 51 jobs, sometimes 3 at a time (I guess I always needed a new challenge once I did all I could at a company).
Most of that time was in the Restaurant industry, hotel banquets or Limousine, having owned and operated my own Limo company in Boston for 5 years (and I thought restaurants were tough, try 24/7 out of your home! No rest for the wicked). I started out trying the Furniture business, as my father and eventually my sister, worked either retail or wholesale sales for many years).
Then, in 1970 the love for Restaurants started when I became a manager at El Charro Mexican Foods in Lafayette, for 6 years, then opened their second location in Vacaville in 1976, and left there… and the list is too long to share, but went on from there. (It will be in the book). An interesting fact is that I went back to El Charro in 2006, to help Dave Shields make some needed changes and "upgrades", including helping to put together their 60th anniversary week!
I had spent 15 years in New Hampshire and Boston, 13 of those with a very special guy. But, that too changed, and since I have always believed that everything in life evolves, it was time to move on, and stay friends, once again. So I decided to return to the Bay Area to reunite with my family, that I had contact with, but being so far away, it was difficult to keep up with things… and there wasn't FACEBOOK to help do that!! (Feel free to friend me (R Gary Fenske), to see photos proving all of this long story is true, and more!!)
While in Boston, I managed a very popular and classy Gay restaurant/ nightclub/ cabaret, where my partner Barry (aka Audrey Arden) and many friends used to put on shows (in drag), and eventually after managing the room, stage managing, or doing lights and sound, I said, HEY… I can do that, and thus, the creation of "Dixie Leonard" happened. In fact, I was a finalist in a contest and Lily Tomlin herself came to watch ME perform. (She was one of my favorite celebrities from the Limo Biz days)!
If you want to know more about Dixie, you can friend her on Facebook, as she has her own page, and life… I just disappear when she is around… she is too bossy and demanding!! She is not a full time working gal, just does it here and there, as a fun thing to do, strictly as a way to express some of my creative talentd! Sadly she will not be attending the reunion (unless enough of you request for her to be there… she does work for cheap)!! LOL!!
I also got to go to Bali, Indonesia for two months. Amazing. Everything in the book Eat, Pray, Love is TRUE!! I have also visited Bangkok and Taiwan (my roommate/friend and one of my last partners were both Taiwanese, as are about 10 of my clients!)
So, I ended up in the Sacramento area, renting a room from my best friend who bought a house there in 2006, which he just moved out of and into a smaller place, but I still live in the apartment above the garage, and my 91 year old father and his caretaker (and her fiance), have just moved in to the big house after some minor upgrades! This will be interesting… and if any of you have dealt with an aging parent dealing with Dementia, you will understand. We lost my mother in 2008 to Cancer. My sister lives in Pleasant Hill, and works managing a wholesale furniture showroom in San Francisco (yes, she has stayed in and out of that industry to carry on the tradition).
I now operate my own little "private car service", that I started after being tossed out to the wolves in 2008, and have built a client base of mostly Doctors and Professors from the UCDavis Medical and Cancer centers, and their families, friends, and neighbors. It keeps me busy, putting about 3-4,000 miles a month (most of them fly out of SFO), on my cars. In fact, so much so, that some of the people I met, also driving for Lyft and Uber as a "sideline", now drive my clients when I am overbooked (which is a good thing), or away traveling… which is happening more and more because… drum roll!!!…
On my last trip to Puerto Vallarta, where I have gone during the Christmas/New Years holidays for 10 years (and Dixie has performed as well… yes, she is an international star, in her own mind), I met and married a very special guy, Sergio Cruz, and hopefully, if all the paperwork processes in time, he might also attend the reunion. It will be close.
This process to get him a green card is not about him coming here to live, but more about me retiring there, and starting a little business we can run together… but that's not for a few years, as I have to deal with Dad's affairs, and also we have begun our first "house flipping" project here in the Sacramento area, and hope to do 3-4 a year… and THAT is my retirement fund!! So, for now, I am having to commute every 5-6 weeks! Not a bad life.
All of this will be in the book I started when caring for my Mom in her last months… and the Title tells it all… "My ship kept coming in, but I was always at the airport"!! Sadly, I haven't gotten back to it since then, but I am up to 1992, so much of this same story is in there, already! There is so much more to tell… let's just hope I can remember it all by the time I do get back to it!
I look forward to seeing everyone in September.
Gary